"Read It Like You’re Dead Inside”
- Darren "Robbo" Robertson
- Apr 22
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 2
The Weirdest VO Direction (That Somehow Worked)
After a recent LinkedIn post, I shared the utterly baffling direction, “Can you read it faster… but make it sound slower?” The floodgates opened. Voiceover artists, producers, engineers, and creatives around the world shared their own stories. Many recounted direction that was vague, contradictory, or downright bizarre. These tales made my original example seem almost reasonable.
Here’s a collection of the best (or worst?) direction ever given. This is the kind of feedback that leaves you staring blankly at the mic, wondering if you’ve misunderstood the entire craft of communication.
1. The Contradictory Commands
Direction that defeats itself before the line is even delivered:
“Bags of energy… but laid back.”
“Brighten it up… but keep it respectful.” (for a cremation ad, no less)
“Read it faster… but sound slower.”
“Calm but energetic.”
“More smile… but read it like you’re dead inside.”
Translation: Be excited, but not too excited. Chill, but make it punchy. Do the impossible. Twice.
2. The Abstract Requests
These notes read like wine tasting instructions or horoscope summaries.
“Can you sound taller?”
“Make aortic atherosclerosis sound more painful.”
“Green juice… but don’t talk about it.”
“More magenta.”
“Lovable outlaw.”
“Sound like a potato.”
What they probably meant: Confident, emotionally grounded, approachable but not too polished… or they just liked the sound of their own adjectives.
3. The Full Chaos Sessions
Sometimes the problem isn’t the direction — it’s the number of people giving it:
Two trainees, each relaying different directions from two different creative bosses.
A husband and wife, one shouting “more energy!”, the other whispering “quieter, more serene.”
“That was perfect… let’s do another.”
Also notable is the infamous “sour puss face.” This is when a client responds to a take not with words, but with interpretive facial expressions. We love this job.
4. The Existential Crisis Moments
Some direction makes you question not just the read, but your entire identity:
“Read it like you’re dead inside.”
“Make it feel grounded… but lifted.”
“Less announcer. Less voice. Less… you.”
“Can you make ‘the’ sound more natural?”
Spoiler: Usually, after 30 takes, they pick the first one anyway.
So How Do We Actually Get There?
A great read doesn’t just happen because the direction was spot on. More often than not, it occurs because someone behind the glass quietly bridges the gap.
They translate vague requests like, “Can you make it more magenta?” into something the talent can actually do.
That’s part of my job in post-production. It’s not just mixing and recording. It’s about reading the room, translating chaos, and making sessions run smoothly.
Sometimes it’s rephrasing a note so it actually makes sense. Sometimes it’s a quip that diffuses tension. Other times, it’s a quiet eye-roll through the glass. That lets the VO know they’re not the only one thinking, “What the hell was that?”
That’s the bit no one talks about, but it’s often what gets the job done.
Why Communication Matters in VO Production
In the world of voiceover, effective communication is key. The ability to convey emotions and intentions accurately can make or break a project. Clear directions lead to better performances. In contrast, vague or contradictory commands can result in confusion and frustration.
Even seasoned voice actors sometimes struggle with confusing feedback. The challenge lies in interpreting the direction and delivering a performance that meets the client's vision.
The Role of a VO Director
A good VO director is essential in any session. They act as the bridge between the client and the voice talent. Their insights help clarify ambiguous requests and ensure the project flows smoothly. The director’s role includes:
Offering constructive feedback.
Guiding talent to achieve the desired emotional tone.
Managing the dynamics of the session.
Ultimately, the goal is to create an environment where the talent feels supported. In this setting, they can focus on delivering their best performance.
Conclusion: Bridging the Gap
If you’re working on a spot, campaign, or long-form piece and need someone who can keep the session on track, make the talent feel at ease, and get the read that actually delivers, I’d love to help.
Let’s have a chat:
Remember, communication is key. Let's ensure your next project is a success through clear direction and effective collaboration.
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